As a school leader, it was the greatest privilege when a child felt you were their chosen adult at times when they were at their most vulnerable.

A distressed child asking for you when in crisis is both humbling and saddening; what if they did not have to seek your urgent help? What if we could pre-emptively build support systems in collaboration with parents and schools which nurtured children and empowered them to cope with complex emotions? At times, we are guilty of heightening children’s anxiety through a myriad of unintentional academic and social pressures placed on children throughout the school journey.

Attachment theory demonstrates that positive relationships are at the very heart of growing children’s agency and supporting their emotional regulation. We know mentoring works for adults and increasingly mentoring features at every level of organisations to harness their potential and support their growth. When the relationship is right, employers find that mentoring can be transformative. So why isn’t access to mentoring commonplace for children yet?

Figure 1: Key factors relating to children’s socio-emotional learning (Yorke et al 2021)

If every child had access to a trusted adult who had, in the words of one of Oppidan’s most experienced mentors, “walked their path”, we would bolster the support for children and families as they navigate the increasingly complex journey to adulthood. An outstanding mentor helps a child to feel listened to, motivated and empowered to take ownership of their emotions and their own learning.

According to the World Health Organisation (WHO), “mental health is a state of well-being in which an individual realises his or her own abilities, can cope with the normal stresses of life, can work productively, and is able to make a contribution to his or her community.” (WHO, 2018) With the pre-emptive rather than remedial support of a trusted adult, we can undoubtedly help more young people to unlock their own potential and flourish on their journey through childhood.

Until we meet children’s basic needs, how can we expect children to fly?