Meet Carrie Longton, co-founder of Mumsnet

Gordon Brown called it a “great British institution.” Others say it’s fuelled a generation of anxious parents.

From its famous acronyms to its role in shaping general elections, Mumsnet is a business like no other. In episode 1 of the new series of Oppidan Talks, we talk to Mumsnet founder Carrie Longton who lifts the lid on the story behind one of the great successes of modern business. In this episode, we talk meetings at Number 10, wonder “AIBU” and discuss, of course, the changing nature of parenting.

Carrie, welcome to Oppidan Talks. As tradition goes, we tend to start in the classroom. We'd love to know what your reports (were) like growing up as a child and a teenager.

It’s not fashionable is it, but I loved school and I couldn't wait to go back.

I was probably quite a bossy little Madam...I talk too much which you'll get the gist of when you hear me carry on (with) this podcast.

I went to a state school in Blackburn and then I got a scholarship and went to a private school. We were the baby Boomer generation of 1965 so there were way too many kids in Blackpool to go through the normal school.

The causation between childhood and the career you chose is something that we’re fascinated about it. Was it obvious at school and then at Oxford that you were going to be a great entrepreneur?

I don't think I knew the word entrepreneur let alone (being) able to spell it. I was brought up by teachers; my dad was a primary headmaster at a really challenging school and my mum was a teacher - my parents (were) not remotely pushy. I always wanted to be a Blue Peter presenter - everything I did really from the age of about 14 (wasn’t) to be entrepreneurial, it was about trying to get a job in TV.

As somebody so indelibly plugged into the world of parenting, and with three children yourself, what advice do you have for parents bringing up children? 

Nobody has your back like your mum does – you’ve got to keep them alive ideally if you can, but my main advice is have their back and everything else will fall into place. I just expect my kids to be kind and polite – those are the two things every day I say when they get out of the car – be kind and (be) polite and that will take you a long way.

Oh, and never call yourself a parenting guru! Parenting only became a verb at the turn of the century, and don’t label yourself a pro!

To Mumsnet then. Tell us about how you started that and the reason for doing so? 

It’s 1999. After working in TV and on the cusp of having babies (and going on holiday with them), a small group of us used to meet up at antenatal classes. It was exhausting and none of us knew what we were doing.  We were missing all this fantastic exchange of information, we were all clinging to the wreckage together. One person is like three weeks ahead of you and knows how to put the breast pump together, and we wanted to create a platform that shared that knowledge.

Rather than asking this group of six or seven others for advice, we thought - wouldn't (it) be better if I could have asked the World Wide Web for advice? And there was no peer-to-peer reviewing so we decided we would start with peer-to-peer reviewing. We started with 250 reviews of pushchairs. There was no broadband, so it was dial up and so you'd literally start the computer (and) go make a three-course dinner. And then you’d come back and it wouldn’t crash and you’d think, this a miracle that our mechanisms exist and work.

Billions of views and millions of members. Why is it the success it is?

Parenting had just become a verb and the site worked at the right time. This was the wild west of the Internet – it’s very, very isolating being a new parent; it's really hard and you don't know what you're doing and it’s the most important thing to you at the time. Parents (were) quite evangelical when they found something that worked, so they wanted to tell people. So the fusion of those ideas helped make it the success it was. Mums are not perfect, but the kindness of strangers is a lovely thing.

“A Great British Institution.” Tell us about meeting the Prime Minister.

It was a bonkers moment for sure, I mean absolutely bonkers. There was a time when we were literally in and out of Downing Street; I was on Sky News (during Swine Flu) up there with the Chris Witty of the time and I didn’t even have (a) Biology A Level!

What’s the most important thing about Mumsnet?”

(The) things that people do for each other, the kindness of strangers is still the most important thing about mumsnet more than anything. The fact we created that is a lovely thing.

Despite the success it has had, Mumsnet has, in the past, faced criticism, with accusations of fuelling anxiety, and your famous acronyms being satirised on TV shows. What’s your response to that and what’s your favourite acronym?

(The last question is easy) AIBU – Am I being unreasonable!? Or YABU – you are being unreasonable. I might get in trouble for this but I think it's a particularly female trait to ask, am I being unreasonable?

It was very much a forum with very light moderation which means that sometimes you did get quite strident views. You could argue with their views, but you couldn't attack them as a person, and I think that was very important to us but equally it's very important that we (allow) that freedom and that people could speak, and that has been really hard.

To millions of moms out there, you were a mentoring support in many ways. You know that we're a mentoring company all about the mentorship of children – we’d love to ask you what mentoring means to you?

I think back to the beginnings of it, the reason it works is (that) it's lovely to give advice and it led me to receive advice, but it's actually even more wonderful to see that that advice has been accepted and is useful. There's something very good for your mental health to be able to help somebody. It's the most important, the most powerful thing, to mentor and I always come away feeling so much better.

Carrie, thank you for your time today. To finish, our quick-fire round.

The best advice you’ve been given?

Your business will never love you back.

Your most prized possession?

Photo albums I think - very boring, very obvious but moisturiser probably!

What is Carrie from Mumsnet reading these days?

I’ve read the Bible three times this year, which I’m very proud of!

And lastly, your childhood hero?

I love The Sound of Music, so I’d have to (say) Julie Andrews!

And last piece of advice before you go!?

Tell your mother you love her!