Conversations with Mentors - James B
Georgi recently spoke to Oppidan mentor, James. Have a read of what they spoke about.
We would love to hear a bit about your childhood growing up, how did this help shape you into the person you are today?
I sometimes feel like an Oppidan wildcard being one of the few born and raised outside of London. During my childhood I really enjoyed learning new things and asked lots of questions - I am pretty sure I never grew out of my "why" phase.
My response probably makes it sound like I would go on to really enjoy school but that wasn't always the case. As a youngster, I found navigating the dynamics of large groups of people particularly difficult, and I often didn’t constructively express how overwhelmed I felt. The school system proved a lot more complicated than the three R’s.
In some ways, the challenge of understanding myself and others continued at home. I remember my mom used to have me and my siblings re-enact our disagreements - roleplaying each other. Afterwards, we would discuss if we felt the representations were fair and how certain actions made us feel.
This activity really stands out to me as something that shaped me. I think it really helped me to begin to consider parts of myself I was unaware of and to recognise the different perspectives other people have.
Nowadays, I aim not to just “put on the shoes” of the people I interact with but to try to put on their whole outfit and truly see the world as they do. It isn’t always easy though!
How fascinating, thanks for sharing. During your teen years, you mentioned uncertainty. Can you dive deeper into this and share how you navigated this space?
Being a teen is a challenging time. When I look back at it, I feel sorry for my parents having to deal with a moody, short-tempered, constantly sleeping, young man. I also feel a bit sorry for younger me - he really didn’t mean to be all those things.
Life has enough rollercoasters, even without the whole self-discovery journey we have going on. Asking questions was plenty of fun when there are concrete answers that can be found. Not so much when I must decide for myself. What if I was wrong?
Daunted, I spoke to friends, teachers, and family – I guess you can say I sought out mentors. All of them had a similar experience when dealing with the unknown. Despite all my worries it seemed that all of them had survived and continued to survive. I found it very comforting to know I was alone in my feelings, and it was something with effort I would be able to manage.
What if I am wrong?
I will learn and try something else. It is not always going to be easy, but it is not going to be the end either.
You are currently doing a master’s degree in Chemistry; did you always have a career vision in mind?
Before the age of 13, I had no idea what I wanted to do. Shortly after my birthday, I had my coming of age. I was going to become a sports journalist.
Manchester United was exciting to watch and I looked forward to writing about all their success for years and years to come. A fortnight of work experience at a newspaper company when I was 16 had me changing my mind. For example, while creating match reports and developing interviews looked exciting, the speculative pieces weren’t my cup of tea.
I wanted to be answering the “why questions”.
For me, chemistry seemed like a path on which I could do that. Currently, I am preparing for the final year of my Masters in which I get to work on my own project and try to find answers to the questions I want to ask.
After this year I may continue to study, join the research industry, or do something a little different like becoming a patent attorney – where I can see the inventions and innovations that others have made.
Perhaps I dodged a bullet not following Man Utd for the last few years…
For those looking to go into the STEM world, what wisdom can you give to our mentors who are currently on this path?
Make mistakes. Do an activity, preferably non-STEM, that you aren’t amazing at. Persist when things don’t go to plan. It is difficult, but it helps. It gives you the needed rest from your course but also helps you develop resilience in a fun way.
For all my love of sport, I didn’t play much besides in school and at the rare weekend. I wish I played more and lost more.
When watching the 2022 Commonwealth Games in my city, Birmingham, I was amazed at the ability of the athletes – as I am sure we all were. What also stood out to me was the interviews – especially those following a successful outing.
Athletes constantly spoke about overcoming challenges and the resilience they had.
It is hard to pick yourself up when things go wrong. Once I spent a week in the lab, 9-5 every day, and produced less than 20% of the results I planned to. My feet hurt from standing up all day, and my willpower was running dangerously low. It felt like I had wasted the whole week and I would have been better off staying in bed.
I remember bemoaning the tragic events of the PhD student supervising me. They politely listened and nodded, before reminding me “That’s science”. Aptly put.
When trying to find answers, which is often the case in STEM, it rarely ever goes perfectly. I’ve noticed the ability to stay the course and not be defeated by their immediate disappointment, creating some of the highest-performing scientists in my course.
In all walks of life, things go wrong. That’s life; c’est la vie.
Lastly, as a Pro mentor at Oppidan, do you have any golden nuggets to impart to our community of mentors?
These three skills have removed some of the challenges I faced as a mentor, which in turn allows me to be a better mentor in my sessions
Communication – As a mentor, you are working with a family, not just your mentee. When everyone feels informed and knows what is going on there’s a unified sense of drive. This helps the mentee feel supported and encouraged. It also makes sessions a lot easier to organise!
Honesty – To make lasting progress it is important everyone is honest about where we are starting from. Honesty with empathy is reassuring and creates an open, clear environment in which children thrive. Most importantly it enables you to build towards your goals together.
Integrity – Be organised and present. Set aside session time in your calendar and prepare so you can be present with the mentee. Try to follow up on commitments you make to both the guardians and the kids. In some ways, mentors are like older siblings and I hope to be the type of older sibling my mentees can go to about anything. We only confide in people we trust, and our mentees are just the same.
Thank you so much for your time and for sharing a few chapters of your life story with us!